Archive for August, 2014

Did you know you were not born with a point of view about money?

Do you remember the allure of the shiny round object known as a quarter, or a guilder, or a franc, or a Deutsch mark the first time you saw it? How beautiful and intriguing it was?

Do you recall having the innocence of a 7 year old who, when his mother said she didn’t have the money for something he was asking for, told her she could just get more from the bank inside the wall, as if there was a never-ending supply?

Did you know you, the infinite being that you are, were not born with a point of view about money?

What if everything you “think” is absolutely true about money is just an implanted point of view—not even yours, but something you bought from others?  Those others could have been parents who loved you and were trying to teach you “the value of money.”  Those others could have been school friends, other relatives, ideas from books you’ve read or movies you’ve watched. What if these ideas about money were not the gospel truth as you’ve always believed, but simply other people’s points of view? They may be running your life as if they’re true and something you believe.  But what if they didn’t have to affect you at all?

Would you as an infinite being have a point of view about money?  Or would you live in the question, such as “How does it get even better than this?®” and “What else is possible?®”

What difference does it make what point of view you have about money? It makes a huge difference!  Your point of view creates your reality. Reality does not determine your point of view.  This includes your money flows, no matter what your current economic conditions are.

What if you actually had no point of view at all about money?  What would that be like?  How far “out of the box” could you be in creating money flows from any direction?

What are some of these apparent “truths” we were taught about money, that may not actually be correct? Here are a few:

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

“It does if you’re a walnut farmer,” says founder of Access Consciousness® and best-selling author Gary Douglas.  From where else can you create money that people have told you is a place it can’t come from?

“You have to work hard for your money.”

How can this be true?  Who works harder for their money, a busboy lugging heavy trays all day for minimum wage, or the multi-millionaire property developer sitting at his desk in an air-conditioned office?

If you believe you have to work hard for your money, can you even see ways that money could come to you easily?  Are you even available to receive it? Or would you have to refuse it when it did turn up easily because it wouldn’t be “real,” or “fair” or match whatever judgment you had about the effort that must accompany money?

“You can have love or money, but not both.” “People who are rich aren’t happy.”

Douglas recalls being told this as a child.  Visiting his wealthy aunt’s house, he loved she offered croissants instead of white bread, served on fine china and accompanied by nice crystal.  A questioner even as a child, he wondered what it would be like to try that form of “unhappiness.”

Douglas’s business partner, Dr. Dain Heer, recalls his poor family telling him repeatedly that rich people aren’t happy.  “They couldn’t have been any more unhappy than my family!” he reflects.

What if the only thing keeping you from having it all is the point of view that “you can’t have it all?”  Is that a point of view that might be worth your while to change?

“Rich people are mean, I don’t want to be like them!”

True, some rich people can be arrogant and rude—but so can people with less money.  Is it really the money that makes them rude or arrogant, or their choice?  If you have decided that being rich means you cannot be kind or nice or generous or anything else you value and would like to be, will you ever allow yourself to be wealthy or even prosperous?

“If you’re not born into money, you’ll never be rich.”

While it is true that some people inherit enormous amounts of money, inheritance as a source of wealth can be over-rated.  Many people who inherit wealth they did not create feel as though they do not deserve it and eventually squander it away.

This misconception creates the situation described in the saying, “from shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations.”  It describes how people who inherit businesses created by relatives often do not have the vision or the drive required to successfully expand them, so they often end up going back to being wage slaves or blue collar workers like their ancestors who grew the businesses originally.

“Work and play are mutually exclusive.”

Some of the most successful, self-made entrepreneurs regard their work as play.  Think Richard Branson.  Think Oprah.  Is their success due to their working, or their being creative for the fun of it?

We all have many talents.  The talents we overlook because they’re so easy for us are often the very ones that would generate huge amounts of money for us if we would value them.  Just because they’re easy for us doesn’t mean they’re easy for everyone.

“I earn so much per hour and that’s all I have to work with.”

If you believe your only income comes from your paycheck, that will be the only income you’ll allow yourself to have.  If you changed this point of view, by asking a question like, “What other money flows can I create?” or “Where else could I receive money?” what else would be possible.

One person using the tools of Access Consciousness® received a $1500 property tax rebate in California (this “never” happens) and a free $1000 venue rental in the same month.  What could be possible for you if you asked?

Another great tool for those with salaries and day jobs is to be grateful for what you are receiving, and ask the question, “What else can I add to my life that would create lots of money right away?”

“I’ll be rich once my parents die, once the divorce is settled, once the lawsuit or insurance is settled…”

Have you noticed that the inheritance people are waiting for is almost never as large as the recipient expects it to be?  How much wealth, joy, and expansion of their lives, that they could be creating, have they refused with their decision and judgment that this settlement was “all the money they’d ever need” and a solution to all their money problems? How much more could they create if they were willing go beyond simply waiting for their payout?

“You’ve got to hold on to what you’ve got because that’s all you’ll get.”

This is a point of view adopted by people who receive a windfall settlement or inheritance.  When they try to hold on to it, instead of continuing to create their lives, they contract their entire lives and their fortune tends to follow suit.  What if they went ahead and created their lives and more money while the cogs that would bring them money were turning?  How much more money can they add to their lives?

“You’ve got to avoid losing money at all costs.”

When your focus is on losing money, what has to show up in your life?  It’s like putting a neon sign above your head, “I don’t want to lose money, I don’t want to lose money, I don’t want to lose money.”  That neon sign attracts ways in which you will lose money like moths to a flame.  What if instead of focusing on the loss you focused on questions like, “What else is possible?” “What else can I create?” “How else can I create even more money?”

What else do you believe is absolutely positively true beyond question about money?  Is that point of view assisting you in creating prosperity, or hindering you without your even knowing it?  Would you like to destroy and uncreate that right now?

Do you suspect that you may have some additional points of view about money that are limiting you?  Gary and Dain have a teleseminar for you!  It starts now, and it’s called “Creating Wealth on a Penny a Day.”  Sound impossible?  Then you REALLY need it!  It’s a mind-blowingly different approach to creating wealth—everything you should have learned from the people that raised you, but didn’t.


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How to Use Lime Essential Oil
Posted on February 3rd, 2014 | 2 comments
Young Living’s Lime essential oil has a wide variety of uses. Aromatically, the pleasant citrus scent is invigorating and may help promote mental clarity and encourage creativity.* Topically, Lime provides antioxidants to the skin, which may reduce dark spots due to aging and acts as an insect deterrent.* Taken internally, Lime supports a healthy digestive system and may aid in weight management. One of most versatile uses for Lime essential oil, however, is for cooking.

Before adding Lime or any other Young Living essential oil to a recipe, start by adding half of a drop (put a toothpick inside the oil bottle orifice and stir the toothpick into the recipe) and then add more to taste. Because it’s so highly concentrated, you don’t need to use very much Lime essential oil to get the fresh lime flavor that can make your recipes pop. A great idea is to combine olive oil with Lime essential oil and use it as a marinade for meat or veggies. For an extra kick of flavor, you can also substitute Lime essential oil for lemon in many recipes.
Here are a couple of easy recipe ideas:

Delicious Limeade
2 cups crushed ice
1 cup water
Fresh fruit (strawberries, cherries, etc.)
1-2 drops Lime essential oil
Fill a blender with ice and water. Add fresh fruit and 1-2 drops of Lime essential oil. Blend and enjoy!
Lime Yogurt Sauce
Young Living Stevia Extract, Yacon Syrup, or Blue Agave (sweeten to taste)
1 quart plain unsweetened or soy yogurt
6 drops Lime essential oil
Add all ingredients together and stir. Use the sauce over fruit or dessert.

Lime Essential Oil Usage Tips from Young Living Facebook Fans
“I love Lime! I add it to my guacamole and use it with other citrus oils and honey as dressing for fresh fruit salads. I have also added it with Lemongrass essential oil to Asian stir-fry!”
—Debbie N., Sr. Star
“I like to put Lime on grilled chicken. I also diffuse it with Rosemary and Lavender.”
—Jennifer L., Member
“I add Lime essential oil to my salsa, guacamole, chicken tortilla soup, and water. Mixed with Tangerine, it is to die for!”
—Janne G., Executive
“I put Young Living’s Lime essential oil in my fresh salsa instead of lime juice! Yummy! I also mix it with other Young Living essential oils and organic coconut oil for my daily skin moisturizer! It’s wonderful!”
—April K.D., Star
“I love to mix Lime with olive oil to glaze salmon. It stays very moist and has an awesome flavor.”
—Debbie S., Sr. Star
“We made fajita lime goat’s cheese and used Young Living oils!”
—Mary R., Member
“I mix Lime with Lemon, Grapefruit, Orange, and coconut oil to shrink pores on my face and deep cleanse my skin.” —Amy L., Member
“I use Lime essential oil to make my own deodorant! I add coconut oil, baking soda, and about 15 drops of Lime essential oil. It is amazing.”
—Erica J., Member
“I use Lime essential oil in so many ways. I use it in my homemade laundry and dishwasher detergent. I use it in my cooking. I replace lime zest with my Lime essential oil. I also add it to my lemon/limeade.”
—Dea W., Member
How do you use Young Living Lime essential oil? Please leave a comment with your tips on how to use this oil below.
—Heidi Jeanfreau, YL International and Portfolio Brand Manager
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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Science Now Explains How Our Thinking Limits Our Consciousness

by Access Administrator on January 2, 2013

“If you’re thinking, you’re stinking!” is a favorite refrain of Access Consciousness® founder Gary Douglas and many other facilitators.

Now evolutionary psychologists have come up with an explanation of how we can, in effect, think so stupidly. As usual with Access Consciousness®, consciousness creates an awareness and then science catches up.

Psychology believes that what it calls “compartmentalized brain functions acting either in concert or in conflict” are the result of how the brain evolved. The brain evolved as a “Swiss Army knife of practical tools or an app-loaded iPhone,” according to research psychologists quoted in the January, 2013, issue of Scientific American.

According to this view of science, “there is no unified ‘self’ that generates internally consistent and seamlessly coherent beliefs devoid of conflict. Instead, we are a collection of distinct but interacting modules often at odds with one another.”

This is evolutionary psychology explaining why it can be so hard for us to absorb certain concepts in Access Consciousness®, or why, as Gary says, “You get it when you get it if you get it.” When you get it can often be after years of exposure to Access Consciousness®. Compartmentalized brain functions (otherwise known as “logic-tight compartments) are a scientific way of explaining what we have already observed occurs.

Consider using the words “awareness beyond this reality” or “consciousness” instead of “new scientific theories” in the quotes below:

“Compartmentalization is also at work when new scientific theories/awareness beyond this reality conflict with older and more naive beliefs. Several psychologists found that “subjects more quickly verified the validity of scientific statements when those statements agreed with their prior naive beliefs.” Couldn’t “prior naive beliefs” be another way of saying “everything we’ve been taught, believed, or were implanted with?”

The article continues, “Contradictory scientific statements were processed more slowly and less accurately, suggesting that ‘naive theories survive the acquisition of mutually incompatible scientific theory, co-existing with that theory for many years to follow.’”

Have you ever sat in a class where someone in the front row argued forcefully for their own worldview? Check out what else psychologists have to say:
“Northwestern University researchers found that when subjects’ closely held beliefs were shaken, they ‘engaged in more advocacy of their beliefs …than did people who’s confidence was not undermined.’”

Do you remember hearing Gary say “whatever people are trying to prove, they really believe the opposite?” Science is now figuring this out as well. “Enthusiastic evangelists of a belief may in fact be ‘boiling over with doubt,’ and thus their persistent proselytizing may be a signal that the belief warrants skepticism,” continues the article.

Morality, another limitation that Gary speaks about, creates even more distortion, say these psychologists. “Our moral emotions lead us to bend and distort data and evidence through a process called motivated reasoning. The module housing our religious preferences, for example, motivates believers to seek and find facts that support a biblical model of a young earth in which the overwhelming evidence of an old earth must be denied. The module containing our political predilections, if they are of a conservative bent, may motivate pro-capitalists to believe that any attempt to curtail industrial pollution by way of the threat of global warming must be a liberal hoax.”

Interestingly, the article does ask, “What can be done to break down the walls separating our logic-tight compartments?” Scientists from Western Australia had some suggestions, which just could apply to those attending and facilitating Access Consciousness® classes. “Consider what gaps in people’s mental event models are created by debunking, and fill them using an alternative explanation. To avoid making people more familiar with misinformation, emphasize the facts you wish to communicate rather than the myth.”

“Provide an explicit warning before mentioning a myth, to ensure that people are cognitively on guard and less likely to be influenced by the misinformation…” Isn’t this another way of describing what Gary does when he tells people at the beginning of an advanced event, “Welcome to the end of your life as you know it…”

The article continues, “Consider whether your content may be threatening to the world view and values of your audience. If so, you risk a worldview backfire event.” Is there anyone who has facilitated introductory classes who has not witnessed this happening?

Perhaps like all of us, there is one logic-tight compartment that the writer of this article did not penetrate—and that is the dominance of truth and scientific thought as we know it. “How (can) intelligent and educated people, in the face of overwhelming contradictory evidence, believe that evolution is a myth, that global warming is a hoax, that vaccines cause autism and asthma, that 9/11 was orchestrated by the Bush administration?” the article asked at the beginning.

What might happen if these and other unquestionable scientific beliefs were subjected to some questions, Access Consciousness® style? Might some compartment walls break down and some other interesting points of view emerge? Access Consciousness® might just move ahead of science yet again.

All of the quotes above were taken from the article, Logic-Tight Compartments, on p 77 of the January 2013 Scientific American. Many psychologists from all over the world were quoted in the article, written by Michael Shermer, publisher of Skeptic magazine. You could comment on the article at

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What to Avoid to attain Adrenal Well-Being


As you know you are a very intricate being. Between physics and medicine, we have constant reminders that the interplay between our Mind and Body is constant and much more active then we might truly understand.

The following lifestyle experiences are offered to support you in the inner inquiry with the sincere knowing that most of these are within your personal parameters of perception and action to re-design. Ask us how?

  • Poor Food and drinks as stimulants (sugar, caffeine, excessive carbohydrate)
  • Trying to be perfect
  • Staying up late even when fatigued and therefore lack of deep restorative sleep
  • Staying in situations that are no-win (for example: double binds)
  • Being consistently in a position of powerlessness
  • Poor food choices
  • Lack of enjoyable and replenishing activities
  • Constantly driving oneself
  • Over exercising
  • Environmental toxins
  • Relationship turmoil
  • Skipping meals

You will note that many of these circumstances involve how we might create our relationships. These relationships seem to encompass every interaction we have with our outside world. Do these interactions have our bodies constantly in a fight or flight mode?

This is a very subtle awareness. By that we mean that when one is interacting in a relationship with self or another, we are very unlikely to have the awareness in that moment of the potential physiological consequences, often until it is too late.

For example, you are late for an appointment and instead of pushing yourself out the door in a flight mode perhaps calling ahead to have a more calming drive time would be a good self-health alternative?  Would this simple action step begin to layer off some of the “external” stimulants our lifestyles can produce for us? Would this simple step begin to re-design a more favorable wellness approach for your adrenal system? Could this step save you a cold or flu episode in the near future?

Research is showing the strong relationship between the emotions and emotional wisdom and their affect on the health of the body. This plus the importance of consistent whole food nutrition and supplementation is being supported everyday in new reasearch. It often takes a multi-faceted approach to support our bodies in creating a new homeostatic way of relating to itself.

Please take a moment to wonder about your personal relationship with yourself and your body. This might be a very good list to play with and give another look at in a few weeks time. This would allow you to gently anchor the possible cause with effect of some of your lifestyle realities.

Thank you for enjoying our educational offerings!

 © 2011 Self-Health Essentials LLC

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What the Bleep is Matrix Energetics?
by Jennifer Buergermeister

Newtonian Physics, out…Quantum Physics, in! With mainstream movies like The Matrix, The Butterfly Effect and What the Bleep Do We Know popping up in theatres – no kidding! How can we escape the latest shift in thinking about discoveries in energy, reality, the body and our own existence? After traveling across the United States to meet Dr. Richard Bartlett and Dr. Mark Dunn, “two wild and crazy guys” (I mean that in the best sense), in Seattle, I have to ask myself what in the bleep is going with what they call “Matrix Energetics: A total system of transformation based in the laws of subtle energy physics, consciousness and focused intent”.

“…And everyone can do it.”
With the greatest compassion and love for their work, Dr. Bartlett and Dr.Dunn captivated the room with their insights on transformation through movement, light touch, intent and the power of the imagination. They aretwo truly loving spirits, destined to help others realize their own healing and transformational potential.

“Matrix Energetics is a previously undiscovered, intent driven, universal, expression of energy which is harmonious with the concepts and laws of quantum physics,” said Dr. Bartlett. “All physical structure has an energetic template upon which it is based and is an interface between physical reality and the quantum energetic hologram.”

The “matrix” of the body is comprised of endless pathways at the cellular level. Communication becomes interrupted and impaired when the body experiences trauma, disease, injury or disorder. Matrix Energetics reestablishes a balanced state in the body’s flow of communication.

But I tell you… after spending a weekend with these two spiritual doctors, scientists, and energy transformers, I soon began to also understand that laughter and play are two key elements in quantum healing, and in instant transformation of the body’s matrix. If everything is energy, and if our bodies contain and consist of energy frequencies, then why can’t we change our frequencies instantly into a healthy, balanced state and become illness-free simply through intent, playful imagination and “feeling, with focus”? Dr. Bartlett and Dr. Dunn have joined an ever growing league of doctors such as Deepak Chopra, Dr. Eric Pearl and Dr. Bernie Siegel, who agree that both energy and emotions play a fundamental role in miraculous healings. If I had any ailments before this seminar, they’ve surely been laughed right out of my system! I guess sometimes we just need a good “laughsitive” for “jestive relief.” It’s “FUNdamental” in our “dysFUNsional” society.” (Swami Beyondananda, in “Duck Soup for the Soul”)

Get out of the way and allow yourself to play ~ Dr. Bartlett.

In Seattle, people were transforming physically in front of my eyes! Drs. Bartlett and Dunn say it’s simply playing a game with the universe, using light touch and the power of intent as starting points in getting the body to shift. As a “facilitator of change”, you are free to make up the rules as you go along. They showed it’s sometimes as simple as locating hard spots in the body and then imagining them linked, and balanced. For instance, one “game” for the spine involves imagining railroad workers putting in a new backbone “railway.”

“Imagination is more important than Knowledge.” ~ Albert Einstein

And anyone can do it? Is your head spinning yet? Here’s my first experience with Matrix Energetics:

When I returned from Seattle, I visited a Starbucks next to The Good Space Pilates and Yoga Studio, off Woodway. A “baristas” who took my order was complaining of an old back injury from two years ago. She was in pain, so I asked her to try and remember three years ago when her back felt normal. She laughed at the possibility but, with seriousness, I asked her again to access the memory how her back felt before the accident. By her eye patterns I could tell she was experiencing kinesthetics (an NLP term used to identify and access mental states and feelings), and that cued me to anchor or tap her head to awaken the neurological system of that memory. I then tapped her chest so she’d neurologically store the feeling, while remembering her back’s healthy state. She was very receptive to the “facilitation.”

Moments later, the woman stated that her arm was tingling, and within two minutes her back pain was gone! She began swaying her hips back and forth in a dance, screaming out joyously to the patrons and the universe that her pain had disappeared. I was just as surprised. As she was accessing her memory of a healthy back, I was imagining her body expanding out like a hologram, simultaneously holding the intent that it would reorganize itself into its previous healthy state. We played a game with the holographic universe and it worked! I saw her again several weeks later and there was still no trace of the pain.

At a subatomic level, we’re no different than a mountain, a chair or a river. We are a system of dancing particles, each with our own “matter casserole” recipe. There are group similarities, but no two the exactly same. Every life form has a genetically coded map that it follows, and in it is the blueprint for balance and harmony in the organism’s frequencies. Einstein said, “Everything is emptiness and form is condensed emptiness.” If you were to look through a subatomic lens, the world would look like particles floating in empty space – a timeless reality.

To change our emotions and unhealthy physical states we need to alter our perceptions. For change and transformation to occur we have to blow-out the boundaries of anything negatively stored in the body. Be in the NOW! There’s no place like the present moment. We have to think BIG and understand that there’s so much more going on in the universe than meets the eye; that reality isn’t 2- or even 3-dimensional. And according to quantum physics, time itself is an illusion.

Time is illusory because past and future are connected to the present as possibilities. Our reality (i.e. the universe) is a hologram; and at any instant, consciousness is the totality of the coherent signaling within the living matrix – including wave fronts reflected from specific information-containing structures maintained by our choices on a moment-to-moment basis – shaping our experiences of the world. We each have valuable roles in the big picture…the matrix. Everything is connected to everything else holographically somehow.

Consider that in the making of a holographic image – say, of an apple – no matter how many times we cut out pieces, it always projects the entire apple. The entire tree is in the seed. So… does that mean our bodies are a part of something else “out there” that’s “the whole”? How in the bleep does that happen? And who, or what, is the “projector” of this reality?

Neurophysiologist Karl Pribram said, “The human nervous system is a hologram of the universe. At any moment when you think about it, no matter what you think you are, you are always more than that.”

All this information about quantum physics and The Matrix left me with one question: If the universe and our bodies are holographic, then what, exactly, are we a hologram of? Is this where science and religion finally meet? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

Jennifer Buergermeister is a public speaker and author on various esoteric subjects. She can be reached at

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How to Find What You’re Really Looking for In Relationship
How’s your search for love going?  Have you found the right person yet?

“There is one person who makes the whole difference here,” says Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, Changing the World and co-author of Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word But Relationships Often Times Is. “If you were willing to be intimate with that one person—it would give you the choice to have it with anyone else in your life, as it worked for you and as you deserved it.”

What if having the relationship you’re longing for did require finding the right person, but that right person was someone you never expected?  What if the person you’ve been searching for in relationship were actually YOU?

Relationship might not actually be what we’re looking for, says Heer.  Relationship by definition means the distance between two objects. In a relationships there always has to be distance.  Very often, that distance is between you and you, as you give up you in order to fit in to this reality by having a relationship.

Heer says that what most of us are looking for instead of relationship is intimacy, where you are in communion or oneness.  In oneness, everything exists and nothing is judged.  Isn’t that more of what you’re really looking for?

-Intimacy does not require copulation—believing that it does is a great mis-identification of what intimacy is. You can have intimacy with everyone, if you’re willing to.  But the person you have find to begin having intimacy is you.

There are five components to intimacy, according to Heer and his co-author, Access Consciousness® co-founder Gary Douglas.  These components are honor, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and gratitude.

Honor means to treat with regard, “in all ways.  Always,” says Heer.

He cites an example that may shock some.  What if you were attracted to someone for the sexualness they had available?  Then once they got into relationship with you, they decided they couldn’t flirt with anyone else anymore?  What if they decided that would be dishonoring of their partner?

“Because you flirt doesn’t mean you’re going home with someone,” Heer points out.  “Because you flirt means you’re flirtatious!  It might even mean you’re a little more alive!  It might mean you’re a little more fun!”  That very flirtatiousness might be what attracted them to you in the first place.

“You might ask your partner how they feel about it before you go about eliminating some part of you that they may adore.”  Eliminating that part of you would be dishonoring your partner and dishonoring you!

The second component of intimacy is trust. “Trust means trusting the person will be exactly as they were when you first met them.”  It does not mean having faith that they will change as you believe they should—even if you know that’s in their best interest.  That’s setting yourself up for “a dismal, abysmal failure in the relationship.  That’s blind faith and it doesn’t work,” says Heer.

Allowance is the third component of intimacy.  Allowance is where anything and everything the other person chooses is just an interesting point of view.  “The minute you go into judgment, you’re out of allowance and out of intimacy.  You can either have intimacy or judgment.  Your choice,” he says.

“What if all of your points of view could be just interesting points of view?  Would you and your partner have more ease?  More freedom?  Less judgment?  This is one of the keys to eliminating judgment in your life and going beyond it.”

The fourth element of intimacy is vulnerability.  Vulnerability is like the open wound which hasn’t scabbed over.  Every breeze that goes by it is excruciatingly intense.

Though many of us have been told or concluded that vulnerability is a bad thing, without it no receiving is possible.  The barriers you put up to vulnerability may appear to protect you, but those same barriers also keep you trapped.

“For every single one of those barriers you erect, you have to judge whether you’re doing it right or not, and whether it’s working or not, and whether it is indeed keeping out the bad evil thing you wanted to keep out.  This keeps you in a constant state of judgment and takes a huge amount of energy.

“If you’re truly willing to be there with no barriers to someone, it creates a totally different possibility.  It creates a softness in you, a receiving of everything, and it invites that possibility for them as well.”

Gratitude, the fifth element of intimacy, has a number of advantages over love.  As he sees it, love requires judgment, whereas gratitude does not.

“You judge to see how much you love someone and how they’re loving you, or not loving you, and how you’re living up to it, or not living up to it.
“If you’ve been with somebody longer than 10 seconds you’re already in judgment of him or her.  That’s why the longer you’re with someone the more separate you feel from them.  You build walls of judgment around you and they build walls of judgment around them and then you can’t get any closer than the walls of judgment will allow.”

“You can either be grateful or have judgment,” he says.  “Which would you like to choose?”

In direct contrast to what you’ve been told, says Heer, “vulnerability is not weakness.  On the contrary, it’s the place of true power and potency.  Why?  Because when you have no barriers and no judgments, you can have total awareness of everything since you have no barriers shutting it off and total power and potency available.”

Using the five elements of intimacy can allow a totally different relationship to be possible.

Beyond the components of intimacy, another reason that the person to start with when looking for relationship or intimacy is YOU is the tendency so many of us have to give ourselves up to make a relationship—sometimes any relationship, no matter how bad—work.

This is actually the opposite of what really works.  When you have someone who won’t divorce themselves for anyone, that person becomes a leader.  By Heer’s definition, a leader is someone who knows where they are going, does not require followers, and is willing to go where they’re going whether anyone else goes or not.

When two people who are leaders are in a relationship, it creates a place where each of them is willing to allow the other person to be who they are.  Both people desire the other person to grow, to be more, and to expand, because they are inspired, rather than threatened, by it.  “The people who have the best relationships actually have their own lives,” observes Heer.

“Relationship is awesome so long as it is a contribution to your life.  If you want to have a relationship, you should have a great and phenomenal one!”


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Please Note!

Self-Health Essentials LLC suggests a way of life for reaching and maintaining peak health. It is based on the best of the latest research and the best of the time-tested methods. Although the medical profession encourages us to take more responsibility for our health, seeking wellness should be done in cooperation with a doctor. More and more physicians are becoming aware of the benefits to be derived from preventive methods, among them optimal nutrition. Self-Health Essentials LLC and information on this site is not to be considered a prescription. You are unique. You have your own set of individual variations-physical, mental, and emotional. Only the doctor who knows, examines, and treats you can prescribe for you. For this reason, the authors, writers and researchers of Self-Health Essentials LLC cannot take medical or legal responsibility of having the contents of this website considered a prescription for anyone.